What Christians Get Wrong About Narcissism

Episode notes

The word narcissist is being thrown around at Thanksgiving, in church, and in marriage. Most of the time people are using it wrong.

A pastor and a licensed counselor explain NPD vs pride, when to set a boundary, and what the Bible actually says.

In this episode we discuss:
• NPD versus narcissistic tendencies (pervasive, persistent, patterned)
• Why not everyone called a narcissist is one
• Grandiose versus vulnerable narcissism
• How it often shows up in men and in women
• Gaslighting, empathy, and “I’m sorry you feel that way”
• Hurt people who still demand that everyone accommodate them
• Grace and boundaries, including a simple boundary script
• What to do if you are married to one, work for one, or were raised by one
• Can someone change? Yes, with Christ, through real repentance
• Why the opposite of narcissism is not self-hatred. It is Christ-centered humility

If you are living with this, you do not have to pretend it is cheap. Pray. Set a boundary. Get wise help. Do not try to be their savior.

Resources Erwin W. Lutzer, The Power of a Clear Conscience (chapter 8) https://www.amazon.com/Power-Clear-Conscience-Free-Your/dp/0736953051

Bill Gillham, Lifetime Guarantee https://www.amazon.com/Lifetime-Guarantee-Making-Christian-Doesnt/dp/0736947868

More from the show: https://www.culturalconnectionspodcast.com

Scripture

2 Timothy 3:2
Romans 1
Psalm 103:14
Romans 14:5
Philippians 3:14
Galatians 5:16-17
Jeremiah 13:23
1 Timothy 1:15
Philippians 2:3
1 Corinthians 15:10

Chapters

• 0:00 Intro
• 0:21 Welcome
• 1:29 The topic
• 2:40 The myth of Narcissus
• 3:40 NPD versus tendencies
• 4:33 Pride is the first sin
• 5:29 Personality disorder versus behavioral disorder
• 6:13 This did not happen overnight
• 7:14 Lovers of their own selves
• 8:27 Lutzer on a broken conscience
• 9:40 Common tendencies
• 10:25 Grandiose and vulnerable
• 14:38 How it often looks in men and in women
• 18:10 Gaslighting
• 19:34 Hurt people hurt people
• 24:18 Grace and boundaries
• 27:53 Pray, then set a boundary
• 31:38 The boundary script
• 33:28 Professional help
• 36:50 If you were raised this way
• 39:43 When a label helps and when it does not
• 41:08 Can someone be healed?
• 43:52 Turn the mirror on yourself
• 48:53 Patterns of the flesh, and change in Christ
• 53:02 You cannot change them
• 53:47 Christ-centered humility

Cultural Connections Pastor Daniel Cox and Marie Cox Calvary Baptist Church

Subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/@CulturalConnectionsPodcast Website: https://www.culturalconnectionspodcast.com
Church: https://calbaptist.net

If this helped, send it to someone who needs wisdom. Not as a weapon. As an invitation to look in the mirror.